Parenting is an incredible journey, filled with both beauty and challenges. There’s a popular saying: “The days are long, but the years are short.” While this rings true, sometimes the long days can feel endless. Having a child can completely consume you—your thoughts, desires, plans, career, and even your finances. It’s remarkable how one little person can leave such a profound mark on your life.
Reflecting on the Early Days
Think back to when you had your first child. The pregnancy journey is often filled with excitement—those first kicks, the growing anticipation with each week. Many of us documented every moment, snapping pictures of our growing bumps, knowing we’d be the ones who cherished them the most. Then, the day finally arrived. After the pain of labor, you held your baby in your arms, feeling an overwhelming sense of fulfillment. But that was just the beginning.
Parenting starts immediately—breastfeeding, sleepless nights, and the sudden realization that your life is no longer your own. This transition can be shocking, despite having nine months to prepare. Adjusting to this new reality is often harder than anyone can fully explain, and for many, it’s a challenge.
Balancing Career and Motherhood
For six years, I thrived in a leadership and management consulting firm. I loved my job and felt a deep sense of purpose. However, the demands of my career meant leaving my baby behind each day, often returning home just in time to put my son to bed. There were many days I missed key milestones—his first crawl, his first steps—and it was my house manager, not me, who knew his latest likes and dislikes.
Many of us experience mom guilt at some point, a deep feeling that we’re missing something important. Over time, I realized that this guilt was a signal, urging me to re-evaluate my priorities. I had convinced myself that I was working hard for my family, but was it really for them? Or was it for my own ambition?
The Importance of Being Present
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that for young children, quality time is quantity time. We often downplay the importance of a mother’s presence, prioritizing careers and external achievements. But being physically and emotionally present for our children is a God-given role. I made the difficult decision to quit my job to be more involved in my children’s lives. Now, we see each other daily, we truly know each other, and most importantly, they know the voice of God.
You may not need to quit your job, but perhaps it’s time to seek more flexibility or to fully embrace the season of motherhood you’re in. It’s essential to honor this season—one that calls for intentional, impactful parenting.
Practical Ways to Be Present
- Be Mindfully Present: Put your phone away. It’s easy to be physically with your children but mentally elsewhere. Instead, make a conscious effort to engage with them fully.
- Listen Intently: Children may ramble or share seemingly small details, but through their stories, you gain insights into who they are. Listening is key to truly knowing your child.
- Dedicate Quality Time: Set aside time for family meals, games, or reading together. Uninterrupted, intentional moments create lasting bonds.
- Create Routines: Establish daily or weekly routines like bedtime stories or weekend outings. Routines bring stability and help build deeper connections.
- Teach Life Skills: Involve your children in everyday tasks like cooking, gardening, or budgeting. Not only do they learn valuable skills, but it’s also an opportunity to bond.
Embracing the Season of Motherhood
Parenting is a season that requires our full attention. The days may feel long, but they pass quickly, and the time we spend with our children shapes who they become. It’s important to see each child as a unique project—what are their emotional, mental, and developmental needs? How can you meet those needs?
Bathing your children, playing with them, or simply listening to them will reveal more about their personality and needs. Each child is different, and as parents, we must understand who they are and help them grow.
Practical Tips for Moms Struggling with Balance
For those moms struggling to balance work and family life, here are a few ideas to think through:
- Be Intentional: If you have limited time, be creative in how you spend it with your children. Turn off the television and dedicate moments to nurture your relationship with them.
- Reassess Career Choices: It’s not always easy, but sometimes choosing a career that allows you more time with your children is the best long-term decision. Many parents in their 60s look back and cherish the time they spent with their children far more than their career accomplishments.
- Create Community: Surround yourself with a supportive community that can help you navigate this season. There is wisdom in learning from others who’ve been through it.
Being present is more than just being physically around—it’s about intentional engagement. In the busyness of life, we can sometimes forget why we made certain decisions, like leaving a demanding job to be with our children. Let’s remember that raising children is not just about passing the time—it’s about raising future doctors, teachers, and leaders.
Proverbs 29:15 reminds us: “To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” Our culture holds mothers accountable for the upbringing of their children, and it’s a responsibility we must take seriously.
Final Thoughts
While parenting is undoubtedly challenging, it’s a season of life that offers immense rewards. By being present—both physically and emotionally—we can raise godly, whole children. It’s not easy, but with intentionality, creativity, and the support of a loving community, we can navigate this journey and cherish every moment.
I recently had the opportunity to have an in-depth conversation with a fellow mom who has walked this path. You can check out our discussion on my YouTube channel in the video titled "Why I Chose My Kids Over My Career: A Mom’s Journey and Tips for Balancing Family Life." This video offers a more detailed and personal perspective from a mother who made intentional decisions for her family and shares valuable tips on navigating this season.